Friend is too emotional reddit. You're fine bud, talk to your friends and get closer.
Friend is too emotional reddit Although this ISNT a valid excuse, I would constantly vent at my best friend because I have emotionally immature parents. I have anxiety, and again this isnt a valied excuse, I became so dependent on my best friend when it comes to decision making. Edit: Wow, I appreciate every single person who commented. He’d talk shit to me about close friends of ours and I just knew whenever he was with them he’d most likely be shit talking me too. I had to learn where each friend's threshold/limits were. Heck I wouldn’t even be alone with another man unless my husband was present. For me it was an emotional regulation thing. Friends I tend to just abandon if I fall far enough. ” (I wanted to give a bit of history about our friendship, like I said I can get into it more if you want to know more but I’ll get into why I’m not sure about our Had a friend like this too - I realized he was toxic to be around and had to distance myself. Fast forward to a couple months into our friendship, and I notice that little things seem to trigger very strong, emotional responses from her. My viewpoint of her is changing and I am emotionally drained by this friendship. Second, is special occasions. I appreciate you taking the time to listen and give your feedback. Pay more attention when you read I did notice that she would talk often about a couple failed friendships she had in the past, but from what she told me it seemed to me (at first) that it was their fault that things went sour eventually. You can support your friend by giving advice and a shoulder to cry on, but that's it. She keeps telling me TLDR: My friend who was (and potentially is still? idk) in love with me for like 2+ years is now emotionally dependent on me, and he has spent a long time being emotionally manipulative towards me and has repeatedly and concerningly broken boundaries, and our friend group is done with his shenanigans, but he's so emotionally unstable that it Omggg sameeee this is so relatable I'm actually gonna cry cuz recently I have been feeling this way too and it's been really getting to me and I don't know how to deal with it😭 I too feel like I'm like my friends therapists or something, like an emotional dump, cuz it's like they tell me everything yet never ask me anything abt me. I could hear her FaceTime a different friend and saying how I’m too needy and emotional. I had a friend once tell me at a middle school dance that I was too clingy and to stop hanging around her. I really have a lot of fun with her and she genuinely means a lot to me but sometimes it gets a bit too much with her overthinking and being way too emotional! This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. But if your friend is unwilling or incapable of respecting your boundaries, you need to enforce them another way, which may include spending less time with them. I got told my little, who is a super close friend, had to get dropped from my fraternity through no fault of my or his own, but just because adults fucked up and we had to take the fall for it. I strongly believe that having a community of friends helps a relationship. Any advice on how to tell a friend you aren’t a journal? We’re in the same friend group and want to salvage. Friendships should have benefits for all involved. She is emotional every day and has panic attacks, but will not seek help. Buttt, I do have some friends (one specifically, an extrovert) who just comment back on the subject I mention and that's that. I have this friend that I met in uni and we moved into together and now she’s my roommate. My bf and I were there for her when she broke down and weeks later she explained to me what happened and how everything is good but her friends and husband were on “thin ice. She needs to spend some time working with a therapist while Alone. Posted by u/constantcimber - 22 votes and 23 comments Got called “Too Emotional” by one of my closest friends, who helped me through my lowest moment Yesterday fucking sucked, straight up. " Gut feelings and emotions can definitely be part of a decision making process, but if they guide everything you do, that's kind of an issue. She , in actuality, is emotionally abusing you and manipulating you. I also don't talk to my parents about my emotions and such. I struggle with this stuff too, do you really think listening to triggering negativity for hours is helpful to me at all? Nope it makes me wanna do bad stuff to myself. Didn't work, didn't drive, didn't try to find a way to get meds, etc. I'd get anxious every time I saw her text pop up on my phone. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. My girlfriend is too emotionally dependent on me . People with high emotional intelligence can recognize their own emotions and those of others, use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately, /r/FriendshipAdvice is the place to get advice for friendship, whether it be saving a failing friendship, making friends, or just general advice! Members Online i messed up losing a friendship because im too insecure and they got "the ick" It sounds like you have a lot of expectations placed on this particular friendship to fulfill your emotional needs. It may move to that sexual stage, but in essence, an emotional affair is a deep and intimate connection you have with someone outside of your relationship. You are right, I felt he was a bit like you described, like he just wants to do too much, and ends up promising too much and end up falling short. maybe you want to try to give her space you never want to feel dependent on someone For example -she criticises me if i go out too much, saying it makes her feel more depressed when i have loads of plans -she tries to call me when i am busy with my friends, and says it’s unfair i get to see them all day and then don’t call her even though i’m busy -she criticises what i eat, saying it’s not healthy enough -she says i 143 votes, 60 comments. My friend [25M] is getting way too emotionally dependent and needy around me [24F]. Or if they don’t talk with me for some time, I get sad. My friend I refer to above is messy. When I want a one night stand I have to change my persona more douchier. You could mention that to her. So I would be unhappy with that relationship too if I were in his shoes. And many more saying I am a shitty friend even if I was always there with him for 5 years listening about him, even if he left the town and we just communicate via calls and messages, after that I just blocked him in all the social medias and didn't talk to him because he made me make the doorslam on him, kinda shitty to say I didn't regret it As someone who actually was physically assaulted by a friend of my ex gf (her friend attacked me and our 11 month old baby) you need to become less invested in this. They’ve texted my siblings about me, as well as my bestfriend and childhood friend’s gf and it’s getting to the point where I’m starting to feel uneasy. . A little something about women: we absolutely do not emotionally invest in men we don’t have feelings for, at least not to this extent. (very exhausting and I burnt out after 3 Don't be so hard on yourself, 6 months is hardly enough time to feel the true scope of your emotions, and figure out a way to manage them. When unjustified guilt settles in, try to snap out of it. Just like others have already said, distance yourself from her. 37F and she’s 39F. Lately I’ve been struggling because up until recently, me and my friend have done everything together - we’ve done stuff with other people, but always together. its their choice. how do I tell him? Me and two other friends play video games almost every I think that you need to stop worrying so much about her behavior and start worrying about your own - you seem waaaaaay too invested in her emotional maturity, grades, future, and friendships. You can’t help her, you are only enabling her behavior so she doesn’t make you miserable. Over the past few years, my (23F) best friend from college (23M) has, on occasion, had too much to drink which has led to things like passing out on the side walk until the following morning and seriously injuring himself and not remembering how the following morning. I've also had issues with friends who won't stop giving unsolicited advice. People would consider me a pretty unemotional person too, but it makes even me feel like he doesn't love me a lot of the time because he just doesn't show really any emotion whatsoever. All I know is that I can’t continue the relationship like this. Very emotional and swings all over with their thing. I used to have friend like her when I was younger and it traumatized me very badly. I just took the hint more seriously right now because he is asking for emotional support from me when he underwent an operation and said to contact him before and after to check on him even remotely as we are long distance. I need balance; I need to be able to get emotional without worrying about my partners emotions towards my emotions (word vomit, ugh). Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. I'm at a loss This might sound weird, but I'm pretty sure my best friend is (unhealthily) dependent on me. That's cool. I believe these people get tired of listening to constant negativity and pull away. When she’s depressed, she’ll put a status on discord or any other social media saying how depressed she is, then proceed to leave discord servers and groups with all her friends in them before ghosting us Even the most macho dudes I've known, some too masculine even for me know when to get serious when a friend is going through something, even macho man role models are advocates to look out for one another (e. I also think it's good to process in your own way otherwise it will come out eventually maybe when you don't want it too. Welcome to r/relationship_advice. My sister doesn't live too close and I don't see her often enough for her to develop something with my partner. I already told him to just tell me if he's busy or if I'm asking too much, but he just denies it everytime. Please don’t feel like you aren’t a good friend. In which case it’s perfectly ok to take some distance and Doesn't get sad, angry, depressed, jealous, nothing like that- no real emotions. But now she’s realised this isn’t healthy and has started doing things with other people, without me. Or check it out in the app stores Also helps that I've discussed at length with my friends how having ADHD affects my ability to regulate my initial reaction to things like confrontation, and that my tears are just my body's way of immediately expelling whatever huge Christ, this is pretty much the same for me and my friend. I have a feeling he Well you're 15, you're gonna have random emotions. So that outweighs showing something that reminds me of them. This is the total opposite of that. We've been friends for a decent amount of years and are in frequent contact. And sure, you never know. Please make sure you read our rules here. It can get in the way sometimes but id rather not be numb, the expanse of feeling is too wonderful. Whenever I blow up with my emotions, he replies in short words like “i dont understand”, then does not reply unless I say anything further. I think you need to examine your own behavior and TLDR: My friend is unhappy in her marriage and work situation but refuses to take any actual advice. Im 30 now, and still have a mouth on me, but i learned that not only is there a time and place, but a who as well. Luckily she doesn’t live locally to me so that’s something. I think I have friend-commitment issues lol In college rn, making friends is almost a job. I'm 31 now. Being told that you’re too sensitive when you speak up, or being told that how you feel is stupid and you should get over it. I just now hang around with people like me who are the same. She said she can’t handle someone who is emotional and needy. While friendships do take work, it shouldn't be another full time job. tldr; My best friend relies on me too much and can't meet her own emotional needs. EI is the ability to perceive, use, understand and manage emotions. 1) They ignore and delay in answering your messages and I just need less emotion from him so that I can embrace my emotions as well and get comfortable. I've tried. The reason I say I think she depends on me too much is because she gets really upset every time I leave, and any time we spend more than 24 hours apart from each other she gets really cranky. I’d like to think I’m emotionally intelligent, however as understanding and empathetic as I am, I struggle to connect when it comes to people Friends who never talk about themselves but always ask about you and want to know what you are doing? Friends who are emotionally draining can suck the life out of you. doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing though, it just means you'll find the right people I got upset. My question is how do I tell him that he is too negative and that he is emotionally exhausting to be around. I've been too busy with schoolwork that I've been having headaches. That kind of emotional roller-coaster will start to affect you physically in the long run. I don’t do one-sided friendships anymore and I definitely don’t do friendships where I feel like I’m being a friend with someone for their benefit but get nothing in return. She says she has depression and she cuts It’s fine to be emotionally attached to friendships and completely normal. You get your emotional relationship with you gay friend and your physical one with you bf. They go into denial. Being told to think of other, but never being though of. oooof i know exactly what you’re talking about. Anyway, this is as the "smart friend", i have done my fair share of insulting my friends for being dumb, even worse in my younger years. This entire sub-reddit would be everyone saying that he is too emotionally closed off. I am one of his few friends and I would like him to get more. View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit. Your friend might be in the same space as I was. Don't need to burden them with my issues that I need to deal with on my own. Plus, she's platonic friends with the person I'm seeing right now and has been for a while. My close male friends became his friend group too. This same friend has also started to treat our other friend (his roommate) in a similar fashion. It becomes very complicated if the friend is friends with my family and my parents are friends with them. Sometimes when people's values or interests change too much it can become emotionally draining as well, e. He just acts like everything is normal, and tend to steer away from arguments or long discussions as much as possible. Negative friends might have unhealthy unspoken competitions with you, they might be arrogant, poor boundaries, etc. Hey dude, I get it. I'm just tired. I am too an emotional guy and that is a turn off to many women but the best ones can appreciate that and that is what matters. TL;DR -- I have an incredibly emotionally immature friend who is incapable of taking responsibility for things in her life and lashes out at the people she loves. A negative friend is NOT a friend going through a rough patch and needs to talk about their feelings. Yes we can have friends but if we have a partner, or in your case a husband, we would not take a friendship this far ever. Then are anti therapy. Cut this emotional vampire out of your life because her only goal is One of the biggest issues with the intense emotional attachment is it naturally centres you and your emotional needs, but others have them too. Now that I think about it my bf mostly had close female friends when we met (and he still has them). Cis women spend their lives learning how to do this, and look how emotional many of them get. My husband finally opened up and was saying he feels differently about her too, but he wouldn’t consider it romantic. We’ve sorted & talked about our problems way too many times already but every time we have something new to argue about, Maybe that explains why my friend appears to be too self centered at times. After being lashed out at myself, I'm distancing myself from the friendship, but want to know if there's anything I should say or do before walking way instead of "ghosting" her. You have to take care of your Here’s how to tell if a friend is trying to emotionally distance themselves from you and how to tell whether it’s a longer-term thing or only for a period of their life. I don't think it's actually a problem to have these needs and to want them to be fulfilled, but when you place the onus on one person to be there for you whenever you need him/her, you may be disappointed. He is also depressed/suicidal and has abandonment issues, and I don't know how to set boundaries My friend is overly sensitive and emotionally draining everyone around her. I have had a bit of an issue with keeping close friends, primarily because they become too clingy and rely on me too much. Most of the time I find myself staring into empty space, wanting to sleep longer, and forcing myself to smile everyday. I used to be sick a lot when I had to see my friend often, but my health got better as I got away from her. And usually I’m just upfront with my friends and s/o about it. I’m at uni and I live with my friend and a few of our other friends. I can just feel it. My boyfriend is too emotional he keeps bringing up past fights/misunderstandings. true. This makes it sound like you're going to start resenting his friends for 'taking him away from you. it’s important that you do make time to focus on yourself, on your hobbies, do something that makes you happy. And my best friend is in a relationship and she just isn't the type to do something like that. The main problems I've had have been one-sided friendships where one person talks/complains/vents a lot and doesn't listen well or give me much emotional support. Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors. It basically ended with me telling a parent (friend was an adult but completely dependent. But that’s exactly why it’s so important to practice managing our emotions, since sensitive people tend to be susceptible to manipulation, and to practice identifying when our emotional response is reasonable or disregulated. I don’t know why she choose to tell me this. “I’m a little extra emotional right now, sorry” and people always understand. I know he overthinks everything and every situation a lot. Had a few unhealthily emotional friends and after the 5th or 6th bout of trying to help them overcome the same issue without them doing anything to put themselves in a more advantageous situation I was like, damn, this fool doesn't want help, talking about the same shit over and over is just like emotional masturbation to them. He says he really cares about her, they’re closer than any other friends, he wants to get closer and wants to be her favorite person. Like, "I feel this, so I'm gonna do it. It’s out of my control too. i can't even stay friends with the same people for a long time, friendships come and go for me all the time, it's like eventually i get close enough to realize i don't want to spend any more time with a person, or they lose interest in me. I'm at 43 months, now and I'm just as (highly) emotional as I have ever been. She ended up drifting from me for it. I just want him to move on from it. Then fear opening up. I didn't have anyone else to hang around with and I didn't want to look like a loner. Not saying you're trying to 'toughen up' but it's fine to feel lonely and it's fine to have emotional support. Emotional support I tend to just find from myself. some people dont appreciate depreciating humor/insults. I also can get overly emotional when I’m PMSing, but again, I’ve learned to recognize it. You're not some fucking hero, especially if you're having violent thoughts. Then out of denial. (Not trying to point fingers and say Fi is bad) Definitely not the friendship I want but since she is my best friend I will try to set up boundaries and be honest with her. but probably could) that the friend had issues and needed more help. I don't want to get too attached to doing things with My friends and I have all noticed this behaviour and all agree that something should be done, but we really do not know what we should do. You're fine bud, talk to your friends and get closer. This is not emotional intelligence. Don't monopolize him, or only Being friends with someone shouldn't feel like an obligation to reach a quota. I wish I knew but also at the same time emotions are a beautiful thing and we shouldn't have to squelch it down to fit in. personally I feel that he always feels like I look down on him because he will always I should also mention that people can have toxic times in their lives but not people toxic people through-and-through. Negative friends are friends that put you down, believe things are awful and always will be. I cut her out of my life completely and it was such a relief. Emotional abuse is basically, being told how selfish you are when you’re not. She was placing way too much pressure and responsibility for her happiness on the people around her. I want to talk about this to my friends but I don't want to add to their problems. People are allowed to have expectations for their friends. ' You said yourself that you know having your own friends is healthy, you need to embrace that knowledge. I found out that I was an emotional support dog too not so long ago and that my "emotionally disturbed friend" was perfectly normal with other people. Your friend has low self esteem (basically, low opinion of herself) and high emotional dependence on people, her self soothing strategies may be lacking, that's why you feel exhausted because she is forcing you do deal with all the weight of her unmet emotional needs and traumas. g the Rock being anti-bully, or Arnold talking about how its ok to fail and how a lot of his success came from the friends around him). I’m way too emotionally dependent on them. Everything is just easy and happy and normal to him. I used to cling to my best friend, and if she fails to reply in a few minutes, I get irritated. I've tried repeatedly to get this friendship work. I'd say just keep an eye on your own reactions and feelings. Reddit rocks, thank you all. Sadly, you might find that since you are so kindly attentive to your friends and attuned to their emotions, her black hole of emotional pain is too destructive for you to he around. When I first saw Midsommar‘s group-cry scene I was like “yeah, I’d join a murder cult to feel held”. 'An emotional affair is nonsexual. I went to lay down in her bedroom and listen to music and chill. Like, last time he sent me a long text telling me to stop apologizing to him and stuff. It’s too much. But I'm not talking to her anymore, and honestly, it's a relief. Another issue I have is that it’s so clear that they want that close friendship intimacy that they’ve started to dig into my family life and friendships just to get closer to me. Like if that friend is being treated more like a partner than their actual partner or is being consistently prioritised over them then it becomes an emotional affair, or if you feel romantically for that friend and keep doing things that whilst on paper are platonic aren’t really too you. Part of me just wants to block and delete her from everything but she knows many of my other mutual friends from events and I feel like it could be awkward. I wanna continue being her friend because we’ve been for 7 years and I genuinely care about her. My girlfriend 18 and I 18 have been dating for a year and a half so we’re pretty serious. She gets jealous of my friends when I hang out with them, and basically any time we are not together I am constantly being flooded by "I miss you" texts. Now, I will say, it may help if you, every once in a while, join him when he goes to hang out with his friends. They believe in therapy one day then not. ' It’s way too much but I’m struggling to know how to deal with it as I’ve never dealt with anyone like this before. Lastly, yes I love how INFJs give but don’t really expect something in return. but all of this has drained me so much and caused me anxiety, I'm not sure how to handle it. Lately, she started suffering from depression due to lack of social life and distancing from her friends. I never get angry or fly off the handle, so for me being unable to control my emotions usually manifested in sulkiness. She said she gets thoughts about hugging him and holding his hand. But sometimes you know. Well, itll be a problem to explain to her that she has emotional,attitude problems without making her angry. I've always been clingy. Members Online • [deleted] ADMIN MOD My friend can be really emotional (usually angry) and negative when we play video games. ” If someone didnt want a friend who does drugs, that doesnt make them manipulative, demanding, etc. Nobody is the bad guy here but your friend needs to go get professional help. You are not their therapist, being emotionally dumped on is so mentally taxing. g. For context, I think my guy friend is falling in love with me but doesn't seem to know it. That didn't fly well with the I've had a friend like that for years. If I told him straight up, I think he would not take it well and be very hurt. This connection is deeper than a regular friendship and is on par with, if not deeper than, the connection you have with your partner. That leaves you fulfilled, but your bf without the close emotional attachment most relationships have. I have a very overly sensitive friend, who is very dependent on others. But I’m already self conscious and it really messed with my anxiety. Try to be relieved that the friends you love so much are escaping an environment that's making them unhappy, also remember this is you feeling abandoned, not actively being abandoned. he's kinda offended me a few times but he's really sensitive so I can't be super honest or he will get mad. I tend to be very empathetic so Talk with Friendships are essential to our emotional well-being—in fact, it is social support and a sense of belonging that are the strongest predictors of life satisfaction. She’s not emotionally mature enough to have an adult relationship. same here. That doesnt mean they “serve you. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I got drunk and cried a lot and vented about my life, and 2) My friends told me I burdened them by expressing myself too much. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Your friend needs to make an effort to get some help instead of coming to you all the time. The friend in question has this habit of issuing toxic responses to depression that weigh on not just myself, but her other friends too. How do I set boundaries to save this friendship, if possible? ----- Some people spend their whole lives with their emotions controlling them, rather than them controlling their emotions. I definitely said some horrible things to my best friend in high school and absolutely was not good for her, but I’ve grown since then and learned how to better handle my emotions. Emotional cheating or at least abandonment. Learn how to spot mentally-draining friends and how to respond when it gets to be too much. She’s really bubbly and happy so I kind of get my happiness from her. Like if I don’t get a reply back, get anxious. I’m sorry you’re going through this. some things i like to do when i’m feeling lonely is read, write music, listen to music, talk to other friends or family members, watch netflix. Damn dude As for what "too" emotional would look like, I'd imagine it would look something like someone who relies too much on their emotions to guide them. The issue here more seems to be that youre getting hurt from it. If anything it's pure spite, in the end as long as I outdo my mom and dad and can basically shit on their families by being more successful than them. Expected to do everything but when you ask them for something I’m being lazy. I lean on my friends because they’ve been in serious relationships much longer than me so I value their advice. Reply reply went above and beyond to protect his former school friend (28f) from a neighbhorhood dog but didn't do the same for me (25f), this has made me so resentful A week pass and the things that friend 1 says to both of us about friend 2 get worse while his behaviour towards friend 2 gets more affectionate (it would be too long to explain the whole context and background, but the scheme was really clear, he was isolating, by trying to distance us, and love bombing friend 2) and I found this behaviour I think you should help your friend seek professional help man, i think she is unstable. I haven't changed. I enjoy her presence and spending time with her. sgpn bfrwnjm vfl nkpi mrbv denj pcggcru kvlj agx zurccfm